once asleep there comes a familiar dream...
ruffles all around
soft music singing and moving through the air
hidden giggles dance along the notes
then appear soft brown curls and bright blue eyes
there in the midst of all these beautiful sounds-
she sits.
a sweet little girl with wonder untold waiting...
waiting
waiting
and waiting
she finally calls "mommy you made it"
and almost as quickly as the dream is realized
i wake up and find the day to begin.
the dream kept hidden and hoped for
thoughts of will it come or will it fade
quickly pushed out
to find only the want to fall
asleep again.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
how hard is it to listen?
I find myself thinking once more...about wants...I have worked this past year trying to find a good hard working job. But as the time goes by I haven't even gotten a nibble of a possible place to work. I guess I could of worked harder or spent more time searching...I guess we all could say that. But...oh yes the but...and what a big but it is...What I mean to say is that this economy is hard...hard on all of us...especially if you don't have a degree. I wish i were finished with my degree by now all this might be a little simpler but I guess even the people with the signed and dated papers don't get the jobs. But I will say that they-the empoyeers of the world have the pick of the cream when it comes to filling job openings. I mean really who's the guy a mcdonalds going to pick the highly educated and well trained harvard grad or the high school drop out?
I mean no disrespect i just feel a little beated into by the sea's of hard living. Now, I wish I got have a job and hope all go's well but think about this dear reader... who would you pick? instead of looking at the paper listen to the person in the interview and get a feel for who they are and what they'll bring to your business...cause take my word for it you usually can tell the true colors of a person with in the first real conversation with them because they are usually too nervous to hide their inperfections. Its a fact of nature now if you have them come in for multiple interviews you usually get the person who adapts to your personality and pattern of speech so be careful on that too. But think!
~BabyDolly!
I mean no disrespect i just feel a little beated into by the sea's of hard living. Now, I wish I got have a job and hope all go's well but think about this dear reader... who would you pick? instead of looking at the paper listen to the person in the interview and get a feel for who they are and what they'll bring to your business...cause take my word for it you usually can tell the true colors of a person with in the first real conversation with them because they are usually too nervous to hide their inperfections. Its a fact of nature now if you have them come in for multiple interviews you usually get the person who adapts to your personality and pattern of speech so be careful on that too. But think!
~BabyDolly!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Dear readers.
Well, where to start? I have a ramble jamble full brain today...I can't seem to get a moments bliss. I have been thinking about family...and how it can get bigger or smaller with each choice a person makes.
I realized today that I am apart of 3 different families if people are aware or not I don't know. First family, the roots of who made me-my core basic personality traits formed from genes and environmental living; second family, being adult hood marriage to another devote and loving home made by two people enerstly working on becoming more than just friends but living the modern dream of love. Then the third and final family, the in-laws. A place of difference than you're use to. A place of mystery and new surroundings. What might a person expect in a time of change as this calls for?
Well, that I am wondering today. I was thinking it through and came to the conclusion that no matter where a person sits in life they will never be prepared for this change in their lives because this is stepping into a new universe almost. Each family is unique and unspoken almost. You know how to act in your home. What ques to look for like when to shut up or when to speak or how to speak to certain people in your home. Mainly because you grew up with them and spent all of your life getting to know each other. Now try and learn how to do that with a completely new family?
I don't think I am doing well with the changes but I will say I love my new family and excited to get to know them better. I just hope the feeling is mutual. And the cool thing about my new family is I get to learn how to change my out look on family. Along with other things like living with a pet-Last time i had a pet I was 7 years old and it was for two or three months then we left my dad in idaho and went to germany. So, its a hard thing to understand the love my husband has for dogs but being there at Christmas break put it into a new light. I also learn that not all families are OCD cleaner's or spent hours straightening a picture on the wall. Its going to be a fun time.
Only thing is how do i deal with the changes? I mean one day its hard and another its easier...then hard again...well i guess the adventure is long and the end result will be one to marvel at. well, that's all I got for you today.
~BabyDolly!
Well, where to start? I have a ramble jamble full brain today...I can't seem to get a moments bliss. I have been thinking about family...and how it can get bigger or smaller with each choice a person makes.
I realized today that I am apart of 3 different families if people are aware or not I don't know. First family, the roots of who made me-my core basic personality traits formed from genes and environmental living; second family, being adult hood marriage to another devote and loving home made by two people enerstly working on becoming more than just friends but living the modern dream of love. Then the third and final family, the in-laws. A place of difference than you're use to. A place of mystery and new surroundings. What might a person expect in a time of change as this calls for?
Well, that I am wondering today. I was thinking it through and came to the conclusion that no matter where a person sits in life they will never be prepared for this change in their lives because this is stepping into a new universe almost. Each family is unique and unspoken almost. You know how to act in your home. What ques to look for like when to shut up or when to speak or how to speak to certain people in your home. Mainly because you grew up with them and spent all of your life getting to know each other. Now try and learn how to do that with a completely new family?
I don't think I am doing well with the changes but I will say I love my new family and excited to get to know them better. I just hope the feeling is mutual. And the cool thing about my new family is I get to learn how to change my out look on family. Along with other things like living with a pet-Last time i had a pet I was 7 years old and it was for two or three months then we left my dad in idaho and went to germany. So, its a hard thing to understand the love my husband has for dogs but being there at Christmas break put it into a new light. I also learn that not all families are OCD cleaner's or spent hours straightening a picture on the wall. Its going to be a fun time.
Only thing is how do i deal with the changes? I mean one day its hard and another its easier...then hard again...well i guess the adventure is long and the end result will be one to marvel at. well, that's all I got for you today.
~BabyDolly!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
ugh the land of controls and no answers...
Dear Readers,
We live in a time of the latest and best. But when something breaks we spend hours trying to figure out that the only problem is a wire out of place or a remote problem. So frustrating but yet we all go through these simple problems. so that said let me tell you the adventures of slow and i mean slow moving internet!
My husband is a wonder worker with the computer. I mean there ain't anything he can't fix or make better on a computer. He loves his internet cause he watches tv on it, does the bills, keeps a calendar and basically does anything you can on these things except brush his teeth. Any who, We recently moved clear on the other side of the country.
Well, that might sound okay to the untrained eye but we left everything back home in a storage unit except clothes we'd need. Well, that said. You can imagine what this does to a man who loves his easy working machines. Well, we live in a hotel for the next 3 to 6 months and we've been here 3 weeks.
I on the other hand am not the computer person and in fact its nice to have someone who knows about the inner workings around. But you can see the oposits in us. Well, its 3 weeks and even I am saddened by the passing of good internet. We have wireless which till the other day I didn't know mattered. Well, now we can't seem to watch our shows very well and all these other blessed things we love to do.
Well, we talk and all but my husband turns to me and says " now i have to talk to you all the time. man, i love you but sometimes i gotta watch my tv...this sucks!" men, right they sure are funny.
What would you do?
~BabyDolly!
We live in a time of the latest and best. But when something breaks we spend hours trying to figure out that the only problem is a wire out of place or a remote problem. So frustrating but yet we all go through these simple problems. so that said let me tell you the adventures of slow and i mean slow moving internet!
My husband is a wonder worker with the computer. I mean there ain't anything he can't fix or make better on a computer. He loves his internet cause he watches tv on it, does the bills, keeps a calendar and basically does anything you can on these things except brush his teeth. Any who, We recently moved clear on the other side of the country.
Well, that might sound okay to the untrained eye but we left everything back home in a storage unit except clothes we'd need. Well, that said. You can imagine what this does to a man who loves his easy working machines. Well, we live in a hotel for the next 3 to 6 months and we've been here 3 weeks.
I on the other hand am not the computer person and in fact its nice to have someone who knows about the inner workings around. But you can see the oposits in us. Well, its 3 weeks and even I am saddened by the passing of good internet. We have wireless which till the other day I didn't know mattered. Well, now we can't seem to watch our shows very well and all these other blessed things we love to do.
Well, we talk and all but my husband turns to me and says " now i have to talk to you all the time. man, i love you but sometimes i gotta watch my tv...this sucks!" men, right they sure are funny.
What would you do?
~BabyDolly!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sleep and thought= wonderland...
Dear Reader,
Have you ever laid awake at night, waiting for sleep to set in and you think over the days past or even a distant memory of other past times? Have you ever thought about what mark you've left in this world or will leave some day?
Some might think of the awards they want to achieve at some point in their lives. Others might dream about road trips soon to be planned or just achieved. Some might dream of the perfect dress/suit to be bought. I wonder though how many people dream of the weight they might leave behind when they've left the earth for good. When their expiration date has finally been stamped and recalled.
I know that might be a heavy topic to think about at such a time in our worlds. But imagine, if you will your dream for what people will say about you when you're gone...
your children? your family-distant and close? Your in-laws? your neighbors? strangers who saw you during your daily to-do lists?
I lay awake tonight. On one of the biggest adventures of my life...and I am pondering what might be the legacy I want to leave behind...I am thinking about the life I have lived. People I love- no matter what pain they inflict-come to mind. Children I have learned from and taught. Laughs I have shared and tears I have shed. Good talks shared with many and heart aches felt to help others.
I lay here thinking as my beautiful husband lay sleeping. I wish I could follow his lead but my mind has taken me to far deeper paths tonight.
Oh, how the mind asks the questions and the person begs for sleep? I can't help but think to the future about the days when I am a mother, a college graduate, a teacher, and still Mrs. Buff. I dream of having a home that my husband and children can be themselves always, to know they are all loved, to sing often and always, to make a difference in my home with my kids-as well with the children I some day will teach and help. I dream of some day leaving this world with a smile and love for my love and kids.
I think I have settled on the answer for my above questions...It doesn't matter to me the mark I will leave behind but simply the mark I am leaving now. If I work now to be the person I want to be then someday I will be. It starts with desire than motivation then hard work then when the day is said and done and the time is well spent I will leave the mark I am intended to leave.
What would you do?
Sincerely,
~BabyDolly!
Have you ever laid awake at night, waiting for sleep to set in and you think over the days past or even a distant memory of other past times? Have you ever thought about what mark you've left in this world or will leave some day?
Some might think of the awards they want to achieve at some point in their lives. Others might dream about road trips soon to be planned or just achieved. Some might dream of the perfect dress/suit to be bought. I wonder though how many people dream of the weight they might leave behind when they've left the earth for good. When their expiration date has finally been stamped and recalled.
I know that might be a heavy topic to think about at such a time in our worlds. But imagine, if you will your dream for what people will say about you when you're gone...
your children? your family-distant and close? Your in-laws? your neighbors? strangers who saw you during your daily to-do lists?
I lay awake tonight. On one of the biggest adventures of my life...and I am pondering what might be the legacy I want to leave behind...I am thinking about the life I have lived. People I love- no matter what pain they inflict-come to mind. Children I have learned from and taught. Laughs I have shared and tears I have shed. Good talks shared with many and heart aches felt to help others.
I lay here thinking as my beautiful husband lay sleeping. I wish I could follow his lead but my mind has taken me to far deeper paths tonight.
Oh, how the mind asks the questions and the person begs for sleep? I can't help but think to the future about the days when I am a mother, a college graduate, a teacher, and still Mrs. Buff. I dream of having a home that my husband and children can be themselves always, to know they are all loved, to sing often and always, to make a difference in my home with my kids-as well with the children I some day will teach and help. I dream of some day leaving this world with a smile and love for my love and kids.
I think I have settled on the answer for my above questions...It doesn't matter to me the mark I will leave behind but simply the mark I am leaving now. If I work now to be the person I want to be then someday I will be. It starts with desire than motivation then hard work then when the day is said and done and the time is well spent I will leave the mark I am intended to leave.
What would you do?
Sincerely,
~BabyDolly!
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